Author's Note: One of the strong motifs that is repeated throughout the novel, Jekyll and Hyde, is duality and the idea of evil creeping into the double identities that live inside Dr. Jekyll. This poem represents the two personalities and their inner struggle between good and evil.
My body wanders
My mind pressures
I stand alone
And crumble to pieces
Fighting for who I am
Or who I used to
Hoping for the best
Intrigued by the worst
Normalcy no longer exists
Opposites struggle to find peace
Duality like burning flames
Ashes of my past
There is no definition of me
Only what I used to be
And this mysterious ghost
Remaining steadfast inside
Eating away
I am enslaved to myself
Creating life
Creating evil
An empty canvas
Bare and unknown
The world knows me
But I become him
He recognizes my desires
My every thought
He studies my heart
He conquers my soul
Double vision
Double stature
Double identity
"I believe you fully; I would trust you before any man alive, ay, before myself, if I could make the choice; but indeed it isn't what you fancy; it is not as bad as that; and just to put your good heart at rest, I will tell you one thing: the moment I choose, I can be rid of Mr. Hyde." (58)
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
A Non-Patriotic Fight For Freedom
Author's Note: This is my short story that deals with a battle for freedom between a daughter and her parents. This issue hits hard for many teens, including myself, and the defense mechanism she uses is, unfortunately, as harmful as it gets.
Some say that life gives you a thousand reasons to cry; others might support the theory that life is a blessing and only gives you reasons to smile. Regardless, most of the near, dear and close people in Annabelle’s life observed her constant struggle and decided life handed her an obstacle that anyone her age would fixate and frustrate over. On the outside, her life seemed normal and acceptable, with her happily married parents, a nice house, neighborhood, school and a strong group of friends. But on the inside she was trapped, and every day was a battle. She lacked something that her heart longed for more than any materialistic object: freedom.
Her body was a battlefield; her heart was a warzone and her mind a place that penetrated ways to overcome the enemy. The strenuous thoughts subconsciously found reasons to attack, to fight harder, but she reminded herself of the short time period that remained before everything she wanted would be handed to her on a beautiful silver platter. As grand as this sounded, deep down Annabelle knew that if this gift of complete freedom was given to her all at once, it would lead to danger, yet she still fantasized.
In the normalcy of her everyday life, Annabelle put on a smile, laughed with her friends, and put this deep longing in the back of her mind. She hoped and prayed that if she continued succeeding in school, sports, and relationships, that one day her parents would realize her maturity and release her – like a bear trapped inside a cage. Annabelle gave her parents everything she had; as much as she didn’t want to please them or give them the slightest bit of satisfaction, she did for the sake of her own independence – she took on responsibilities, got good grades, owned her mistakes, and tried to gain trust. Yet time and time again, she failed them.
Bitter, hopeful, thoughts seemed to pour out from her brain attacking every inch of her mind and body. Her heart pounded, a thousand miles a minute. Sweat began to perspire in the palms of her hands. Her mind was vigorously formulating an argument that she hoped would convince her parents.
“I just want to go out with him. All we want is to go to the movies. We will be in public, and I’ll be home by 10:00.”
“We’re sorry Annabelle; we just think you are too young to be going out with boys. And we don’t want to put you in situations we don’t believe you can handle.”
The malevolent tone in their voices pierced her ears, “But I am sixteen, and he’s a good guy. We aren’t going to get into any trouble; we just want to hang out. Why is that such a terrible thing to ask for?” She could feel the tears traveling from her heart to her begging eyes.
“We’re sorry honey, but we are the parents and these are the rules we’ve decided to abide by.” These were the words that made her blood boil, that caused an earning to escape all realms of authority; these were the words she hated most.
They were called freedom fights – the hour long talks that always resulted in tears and screaming on both ends of the spectrum. Although there were no guns involved, words as sharp as swords slashed from both directions and the battles were endless. Spewing out of control, she begged for mercy and with every ounce of energy she desired for them to ease up. All she wanted was to be a normal teenager, who got to go out and enjoy her youthful years and fill them with memories worthy of remembering. She wasn’t asking for parties, she wasn’t asking for anything unrealistic, she was just asking for a little… freedom.
Many times, she admitted that her parents were right about things, they protected her and provided her with the care that every child needs; they taught her the ways of life. She gained insight from them, and she credited them for much of the wisdom and maturity that she carried with her at the age of sixteen. Why, then, did her parents not trust her, or give her the independence she wanted? Why did they continue to hold on so tight? In two years, she would be handed all the freedom she could possibly imagine. Even her closest friends worried that once this happened, it would be so surreal that Annabelle would lose herself; for as a teen, she was unable to experience trials, tests and mistakes.
But as the days turned to nights, and the nights turned to years, the longing only got stronger. The words they spoke, the rules, the hypocritical lies, the threats, the love, and the protection, it strangled Annabelle and she gave up. The day had finally come, she had graduated high school, she was eighteen, and the battle for freedom was over – she finally had what she always wanted: complete independence. As she sat in her dorm room for the first time, she realized the newly found freedoms upon all the events that had just taken place. Her parents had given her away, given her away to the real world and she was on her own forever. Her parents no longer owned her. “The world is a crazy place.” The words of her mother crazed Annabelle’s mind and taunted her like a broken record; she looked around the room and pondered what crazy stories she would have to tell of her first night at college.
The music blasted in her dorm room as she got dressed for the evening. The short, tight skirt that her mother would never approve of, found its way onto her slim body and as she slipped on a low cut blouse, a rebellious smile crossed her face. Her heart soared; for she was about to begin her whole life. Hot pink pumps accented her outfit – she was unstoppable. Strutting down the hallway, she grabbed the attention of everyone. Boys of all social classes were drawn to her beauty and for the first time, she felt powerful. An older, attractive, boy named Aiden introduced himself to Annabelle. He mentioned a club where he and his friends party and asked if she would like to join them. As she stood there, her mind went numb and she entered a place of pure adrenaline. Flashbacks of the heavy parental control seized her brain. These were the types of situations that her parents protected her from her entire life – it was completely against their rules and regulations – and because of this, she nodded her head in agreement.
The sounds of monitors filled the hospital room. Tragedy filled the air and remorse covered the faces of Annabelle’s parents. “You should step outside while we take some final examinations. We will be out shortly and then you may come in to say your final goodbyes.” The doctors’ words sunk deep into their hearts; for there is no greater pain than to watch your child die a slow and painful death. The nurse escorted Annabelle’s parents out into the waiting room and the door slammed behind them with an aching screech.
It was a drunk driving accident that killed her, but anyone who truly knew Annabelle would say it was something much more. It was the excitement, it was the pure joy of freedom, and it was the need for power and control. Freedom is a battle that, when fought too hard, can become a wild experience with deathly consequences. Throughout her life, her parents had protected her from the dangers of the real world, never letting her experience the power of mistakes or how to learn from making bad choices. Annabelle’s parents would never admit to this; they thought they raised her as best they could, but it wasn’t what she needed, it wasn’t what her mind and body thrived for, and the fatal joy she experienced in freedom would forever haunt their lives.
Some say that life gives you a thousand reasons to cry; others might support the theory that life is a blessing and only gives you reasons to smile. Regardless, most of the near, dear and close people in Annabelle’s life observed her constant struggle and decided life handed her an obstacle that anyone her age would fixate and frustrate over. On the outside, her life seemed normal and acceptable, with her happily married parents, a nice house, neighborhood, school and a strong group of friends. But on the inside she was trapped, and every day was a battle. She lacked something that her heart longed for more than any materialistic object: freedom.
Her body was a battlefield; her heart was a warzone and her mind a place that penetrated ways to overcome the enemy. The strenuous thoughts subconsciously found reasons to attack, to fight harder, but she reminded herself of the short time period that remained before everything she wanted would be handed to her on a beautiful silver platter. As grand as this sounded, deep down Annabelle knew that if this gift of complete freedom was given to her all at once, it would lead to danger, yet she still fantasized.
In the normalcy of her everyday life, Annabelle put on a smile, laughed with her friends, and put this deep longing in the back of her mind. She hoped and prayed that if she continued succeeding in school, sports, and relationships, that one day her parents would realize her maturity and release her – like a bear trapped inside a cage. Annabelle gave her parents everything she had; as much as she didn’t want to please them or give them the slightest bit of satisfaction, she did for the sake of her own independence – she took on responsibilities, got good grades, owned her mistakes, and tried to gain trust. Yet time and time again, she failed them.
Bitter, hopeful, thoughts seemed to pour out from her brain attacking every inch of her mind and body. Her heart pounded, a thousand miles a minute. Sweat began to perspire in the palms of her hands. Her mind was vigorously formulating an argument that she hoped would convince her parents.
“I just want to go out with him. All we want is to go to the movies. We will be in public, and I’ll be home by 10:00.”
“We’re sorry Annabelle; we just think you are too young to be going out with boys. And we don’t want to put you in situations we don’t believe you can handle.”
The malevolent tone in their voices pierced her ears, “But I am sixteen, and he’s a good guy. We aren’t going to get into any trouble; we just want to hang out. Why is that such a terrible thing to ask for?” She could feel the tears traveling from her heart to her begging eyes.
“We’re sorry honey, but we are the parents and these are the rules we’ve decided to abide by.” These were the words that made her blood boil, that caused an earning to escape all realms of authority; these were the words she hated most.
They were called freedom fights – the hour long talks that always resulted in tears and screaming on both ends of the spectrum. Although there were no guns involved, words as sharp as swords slashed from both directions and the battles were endless. Spewing out of control, she begged for mercy and with every ounce of energy she desired for them to ease up. All she wanted was to be a normal teenager, who got to go out and enjoy her youthful years and fill them with memories worthy of remembering. She wasn’t asking for parties, she wasn’t asking for anything unrealistic, she was just asking for a little… freedom.
Many times, she admitted that her parents were right about things, they protected her and provided her with the care that every child needs; they taught her the ways of life. She gained insight from them, and she credited them for much of the wisdom and maturity that she carried with her at the age of sixteen. Why, then, did her parents not trust her, or give her the independence she wanted? Why did they continue to hold on so tight? In two years, she would be handed all the freedom she could possibly imagine. Even her closest friends worried that once this happened, it would be so surreal that Annabelle would lose herself; for as a teen, she was unable to experience trials, tests and mistakes.
But as the days turned to nights, and the nights turned to years, the longing only got stronger. The words they spoke, the rules, the hypocritical lies, the threats, the love, and the protection, it strangled Annabelle and she gave up. The day had finally come, she had graduated high school, she was eighteen, and the battle for freedom was over – she finally had what she always wanted: complete independence. As she sat in her dorm room for the first time, she realized the newly found freedoms upon all the events that had just taken place. Her parents had given her away, given her away to the real world and she was on her own forever. Her parents no longer owned her. “The world is a crazy place.” The words of her mother crazed Annabelle’s mind and taunted her like a broken record; she looked around the room and pondered what crazy stories she would have to tell of her first night at college.
The music blasted in her dorm room as she got dressed for the evening. The short, tight skirt that her mother would never approve of, found its way onto her slim body and as she slipped on a low cut blouse, a rebellious smile crossed her face. Her heart soared; for she was about to begin her whole life. Hot pink pumps accented her outfit – she was unstoppable. Strutting down the hallway, she grabbed the attention of everyone. Boys of all social classes were drawn to her beauty and for the first time, she felt powerful. An older, attractive, boy named Aiden introduced himself to Annabelle. He mentioned a club where he and his friends party and asked if she would like to join them. As she stood there, her mind went numb and she entered a place of pure adrenaline. Flashbacks of the heavy parental control seized her brain. These were the types of situations that her parents protected her from her entire life – it was completely against their rules and regulations – and because of this, she nodded her head in agreement.
The sounds of monitors filled the hospital room. Tragedy filled the air and remorse covered the faces of Annabelle’s parents. “You should step outside while we take some final examinations. We will be out shortly and then you may come in to say your final goodbyes.” The doctors’ words sunk deep into their hearts; for there is no greater pain than to watch your child die a slow and painful death. The nurse escorted Annabelle’s parents out into the waiting room and the door slammed behind them with an aching screech.
It was a drunk driving accident that killed her, but anyone who truly knew Annabelle would say it was something much more. It was the excitement, it was the pure joy of freedom, and it was the need for power and control. Freedom is a battle that, when fought too hard, can become a wild experience with deathly consequences. Throughout her life, her parents had protected her from the dangers of the real world, never letting her experience the power of mistakes or how to learn from making bad choices. Annabelle’s parents would never admit to this; they thought they raised her as best they could, but it wasn’t what she needed, it wasn’t what her mind and body thrived for, and the fatal joy she experienced in freedom would forever haunt their lives.
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